Something to insult everyone.

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful.

Barbra Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.

REPUBLICAN, Believer in Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a

foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the

milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when

one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have

downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce

twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality

milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks

of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.

Then you kill them and claim a U.S. bomb blew them up while they were in the

hospital.

IRAQIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

They go into hiding.

They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the

best-looking cow.

NEW YORK CORPORATION

You have fifteen million cows.

You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat

cow from Arkansas

That's the best laugh I've had in a long time! Thanks, Papa Art.

Marilyn

PS. Why don't you post this for the folks over at WBG? They could use a good laugh, too.

Okay, now we need to come up with our OWN. The challenge is on...

TEXAS 38,

My senior moment QUICK !!!! before I lose it

WHAT IS WBG

papa

Why, Wild Bill Guarnere, himself, papa!

Marilyn,

This "INSULT EVERY ONE" I had posted it to WBG but they have me posting in right field. That is why you did not see it there.

papa Art

CINDY __ MARILYNHere is one to make you smile. I have had it posted to WBG and other web

Kellogg’s All-Bran and WW2

I have a friend who was WW2 tail gunner in a B-24 in England. He had a hearty breakfast of Kellogg's All-Bran before a mission over Germany. On the mission the All-Bran started to work. He was not going to fill his pants so he left his tailgunner position and went to the bomb bay doors and relieved himself. When they got back to their base he really got chewed out by the pilot. All I can think about is the German soldier looking up and plop! he gets it right in the face and said American secret weapon but it stinks.

No More Milk

This same friend, B-24 tail gunner ,returning from a mission and flying low. He was told to shoot up all hay stacks because German’s hide there tanks under them. He comes up-on a hay stack so he starts shooting at it and just as he started shooting, a cow comes walking around the corner of the hay stack. Bang, bang no more milk, no more cow.

knew this B-17 Pilot, pre war vintage, at Clark Field. Old Bernard Tapps was his name.

One day I asked him a stright forward question, that I have often wondered about.

The Night before the crew is in the club jucing up. Well next day when you are flying, and guts rumble, and you have a choice, is it a wet or dry fart. If wet, are you going to shit your pants or try and hold it until you get back.

Old Bernie says, hell that was no problem, open bomb bay doors drop your drawers and shit your guts out. What about paper,, old Bernie says when you spray like that no need for it. But the Ground crew, bomb loaders are not to happy with shit spray on aft bulkhead. I laughed so hard I cried.

I miss the Old Guy, he was such a character. The Nose Art on his B-17 was Tapps for the Japs. A Old Cleveland, Ohio Lad.

Take five.....

I normally don't get into this kinda stuff....but this is really well done...

Lower the volume, click the link, and settle back into your chair...

Take Five

Nothing here again dear papa! Oops!