Two Women in a Bar

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a

while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from

listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you

live on in Dublin ?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west

end. I lived on

Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I!

So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of

Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell

me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down

upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same

pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary

in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and

orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head

and mutters, It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

While we are swapping jokes:

The Woman Marine

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of

stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

Then the teacher realized that only one student, Janie, was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine

pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over

enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a

survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then

her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15

of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with

the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her

bare hands."

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you

was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't mess with Mommy when she's been drinking."

Ah, a woman after my own heart!