ONE-LINERS:
• A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
• Any system which relies on human reliability is unreliable.
• Doing it the hard way is always easier.
• Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
• The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
• Inside every small problem is a larger problem struggling to get out.
• I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?
• Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
• You get the most of what you need the least.
• Leakproof thermoses -- will.
• The most heavily traveled streets spend the most time under construction.
• Good enough never is.
• Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
• Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
• You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.
• You! Off my planet!
• Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.
• Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
• Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
• Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.