I love your sense of humor. That rocks! 
You'll fit in perfect around here, that's fer sure!
As far as photos, I have a post in the Help Section that should answer most of your questions.
http://208.109.212.45/forum/index.php?showtopic=1185
I don't know what photo programs you have, but all have ways to resize your photos. The reason I have limits is because server space is always precious and it costs money, so to help that along I've had to enforce some laws. If I didn't people would be loading photos that were 2000 X 3000 and/or images that were 2 or 3 or 4 megs. Therefore I ask folks to do some homework before they get here. Hey I'm an ex-school teacher and I always expect people to do their homework. 
Posting photos right here is fine, or start another post in the Engineer section. That is cool also. The Chat Room is just for instant chatting and I hope it will be a fun place for everyone here.
You're doing great so far and I bet that within a few weeks you'll be a seasoned VI Corps Forum Veteran! 
Proud Daughter of Walter (Monday) Poniedzialek
540th Engineer Combat Regiment, 2833rd Bn, H&S Co, 4th Platoon
There's "No Bridge Too Far"