Punography

[Walt's Daughter]

PUNOGRAPHY

 

When chemists die, they barium.

 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

 

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

 

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

 

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's

no pop quiz.

 

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she

couldn't control her pupils?

 

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

 

Broken pencils are pointless.

 

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The

police have nothing to go on.

 

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

Haunted French pancakes give me the cr�pes.

 

Velcro - what a rip off!

 

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

 

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!